How a Man Must Prioritize For A Balanced Life

How does a man live? What he values, what he prioritizes, and how he spends his time, his money, and his heart? Most men believe that they’re good and decent guys. They might have a loving relationship with their children. They’re successful at work. They’ve got a nice vehicle in the driveway or even a boat that they take out occasionally. They take off with their family on the weekends away from town and take grand vacations annually. 

Although it appears as if they’re “winning” at life, the bad news is just around the corner. And then you hear it. Their wife leaves them or they leave their wife, for example. They don’t appear to be in love any longer, or they have irreconcilable differences.

You have probably heard the story of the man who went bankrupt. He was highly regarded at work, making the bosses happy, but a corporation was sold and he was “fired.” When his corporation was sold, the bank(s) called his notes and he was forced to declare chapter 11.

You might have also heard about the man whose children, when reaching age 18, left home and refused to stay in contact with him. They care about their father, however, they never established a strong relationship or emotional connection. 

To avoid becoming a leading cast member in one of these sad stories, there are things you must know regarding how a man must prioritize for a balanced life that is in order and intact according to God’s purpose.

Placing Blame Instead of "Owning It"

It’s common for men to think that they’re doing the right thing and fulfilling their duties. They care about their family, desire success, and cherish a few friends and hobbies.

But...

When his wife or child makes a critical remark, his reaction is defensive and he may project “you’re the ones with the problem, not me.” A man may fall into this trap, believing that he’s right and others are wrong, especially if he is “successful” in life, according to the world’s standards, and has his identity wrapped up in what he does. This is the mark of a prideful man. Conquer pride and be free.

A man may love his wife and children very much and still be enslaved by debt. He may be gentle, spend time with them, and provide for their needs, but he is putting too much faith in his financial security. He and his family’s insatiable appetite for new and shiny things leads to more work and more purchases. Even if this man has not been called by his bank(s), he may not realize that he’s living to work, rather than working to live, spending too much time on the things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Learn financial fitness for life in 4 simple steps.

He has checked out when it comes to his children and has delegated emotional matters to his wife. He thinks that having children might be too much for him, so he won’t be able to provide much in the way of emotional support. He’ll be a good dad, provide financial stability, and keep his children safe from physical harm, but that’s about it. Learn how a father loves his children.

What happens when a man faces issues that are too huge to handle? Unless he turns to Christ, Jesus the Savior, the outcome is usually grim.

A Life In Proper Order

Men were called to live a life on purpose and mission rather than just being a figure who provides. God called them to do so. Their mission is to love Jesus and others.

A man must have his priorities in order if he wants to live out his true calling. A man’s priorities must be Christ first, his wife second, his children third, his career fourth, and himself last. Having Christ as his primary focus in life will give him freedom, satisfaction, and true joy. A life without wonderment or guessing the best choices for dealing with life’s problems is simple. His choice is based on God’s glory, not anything else. It’s so simple. Yes or No?

Seek Christ

Everything mean’s nothing if a man does not seek Jesus Christ first. Seeking God’s guidance is crucial, and he must seek Him with all his heart, mind, and strength. Your heart must desire Christ, as found in Jeremiah 29:13 of the Bible. Where your treasure is, your heart will be also, as found in Luke 12:34. Where do you place your treasure? Do you put it into the fleeting material things of this world, or does your heart reside in Jesus Christ, the provider of faith, hope, and love?

Love your wife

After God, a man’s wife should be his top priority in ministry (Ephesians 5:25). A man’s love for his wife is demonstrated by his behavior in a way that mirrors Jesus’ love for the church (Ephesians 5:25). He models this love by looking out for her interests and acting in a way that shows his love for her every day. 

A man who is committed to his spouse in the same way that God intended will always look after her, take care of her, and ensure that she is loved. He will look after her heart and take care of her like a beautiful woman that God has provided for his life. When things get difficult, the way he responds is to ask, ‘What would Jesus do?’ In covenant marriage, the husband and wife are joined as one (Mark 10:8-9). The husband must be kind, gentle, and merciful with his wife, just like Christ is with us. To fulfill his first responsibility to his wife, a man must follow Christ.

Love your children

In his second ministry, a man must prioritize his children after his wife. A father’s influence on his children is so profound. So profound in fact that children raised without fathers are more likely to use drugs, commit violence, and live in poverty. Even if you are still living at home, are you really “in the home” spending time with your children? Children not only need time and attention, but they also need to see their father acting Christ-like both at home and away.

How the father lives his life may determine how his children live theirs, how they think, their habits, and how they treat others. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A father’s generational impact is achieved by investing time in living out Godly priorities for his children while caring for and loving their hearts. He does this in obedience to God to, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). Children are part of God’s family as one of His, and the man and his wife are stewards of God’s blessing. Children physically belong to the parents, but spiritually they belong to God.

Work for the Lord

A man must place his career fourth on the priority list after God, his wife, and his children. A man must provide for his family whether he is at home or out working. Regardless of traditional gender roles, whether he is at home caring for the children while his wife is working or he’s the sole family provider, the man must give his best effort in whatever he is called to do in that phase of life. If he neglects his duty and is unable to provide for his family due to selfishness or comfort-based reasons, he’s not taking care of his family in the way he should. 

Another big problem for many men is putting their identity in their career, spending excessive time on it, or doing so in an unhealthy manner, like being a workaholic. Is one’s work designed to glorify and honor God, or is it for oneself? That’s the question a man must ask himself. The Bible says in Colossians 3:23, ‘And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” Many men are deceived in believing themselves having their priorities aligned rightly, like the list above, but if they’re consumed in work and derive their identity in what they do, their priorities are misaligned. Are you helping bring God's kingdom here on earth, or working to build your own kingdom?

You’re Last, and That’s OK

Lastly, a man’s interests must come last. This does not mean neglecting his health and well-being. His priorities include God, his wife, his children, and his career, and he must not put himself above them. When a man is failing or has failed, it’s often because he has placed his own interests first, believing he has done the right thing to work hard and provide, yet missing the point of tending to what should be his first priorities. When a man does not succeed, he may react in unhealthy ways that have devastating or irreversible consequences for their legacy. 

A man must humble himself to ultimately serve God. Mark 9:35 sums this biblical point perfectly, where “Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” The aim of a man should not be self-glorification, but glorifying God in all that he does. 

Christ or Self?

Is man living for God or himself? That is the question.

Living for self

Everything else will eventually fail a man who doesn’t love God. He will be unable to achieve anything worthwhile.

If a man doesn’t take time to pray, he will never receive answers to his prayers.

A man can’t know what God wants him to do if he does not study the Bible.

A man who does not study the Word of God properly will never know how to live correctly and obediently.

It is impossible for a man who does not read the Bible regularly to make wise decisions.

There is no true joy for a man who does not thank God for all He has done for him.

A man who does not treat people well will never make lasting friendships.

A person who doesn’t help others won’t be content.

A man who does not assist those less fortunate than himself will never be truly free.

Living for Christ

It is through sharing His blessings that a man becomes blessed.

Everything worth doing is achievable for a man who loves God. He will succeed in everything he does.

A man who takes time to pray will receive answers to his prayers. However, God answers prayers in His timing; he does not answer them when man wants (this requires patience and faith).

Studying the Bible will help a man understand what God wants him to do.

Studying the Word of God will help a man live correctly and obediently.

If a man reads the Bible regularly, he will be able to make wise choices.

A man who thanks God for all He has done for him will experience true joy.

A man who wishes to build enduring friendships must treat people well.

Serving others will make a man feel fulfilled.

When a man helps others less fortunate than himself, he will be truly free.

A man who distributes his bounties to others will be rewarded.

Conclusion

How do you want to live? It’s all too easy to live for yourself, but this results in a wasted life. God’s commands are clear, but obeying Him can be challenging in this broken world where we slip every day into sin. Casting off the shackles of sin and shame, and walking in God’s righteousness is life-giving and will set your path straight. Focusing on the cross of Jesus Christ and what He did for you and I will keep your focus on the most important thing ever, and everything else to this is secondary. So where’s your focus? Yourself or Jesus?

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