Our Kids Need Love, Grace, & Mercy When They Mess Up

John Mar 03, 2023
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father hugging son
Table of Contents
  1. What He Needed In That Moment.
    1. What now, Dad?
    2. That’s The Power of Christ’s Love
    3. Related Articles

When our kids make mistakes, we have to remember that our children need love, grace and mercy. We need it too. Afterall, nobody is perfect.

The other day, our boys were messing around. One of them happened to put a hole through the drywall. My eleven year old came to my wife crying and frantic saying he had to show her something. They walked down the hall to the damaged wall. The remorse was already displayed all over his body to her. When you observe these obvious displays of remorse and regret in your children, try to remember that our kids need love, grace, and mercy when they mess up. You need it. They need it as well.


What He Needed In That Moment.

He didn’t need her to make him feel guilty. He needed love.

He didn’t need her to shame him. He needed grace.

He didn’t need her to make an already crappy situation worse. He needed mercy.

“I’m sorry!!!”

“I know you are,” she said.

“Dad is going to be so mad!!! I’m not ready to tell him yet.” 

“That is OK. When you are ready, you will tell him.”

He knew. He knew that as his dad, I was the one most impacted by this. I would be the one taking time from the day to fix this.

My wife texted me while I was at work and told me what happened.

The kids put a hole in the wall. A big one. Your son is really upset about it. He’s working up the courage to come and tell you about it.

mother son

What now, Dad?

We have two choices to respond here as dads.

1. Yell and vent our frustration in an ugly way and make our child feel more awful than he or she already does.


2. Accept that tender child for each bit of awesome that they are… even in their mistakes. To realize the difficulty for him to come and tell me how he made a mistake should lead me to acknowledge my own failings and mistakes. That when I make a mistake, I acknowledge it to God and ask His forgiveness. I need love and mercy in my failures, and that is what I receive from my Heavenly Father. How much more do we as father’s exemplify this faithfulness to God when we live out our faith, and demonstrate Christ-likeness to our children?

Our response will 100% determine how our children come to us with mistakes in the future.

How do you respond? 

Today, my son walks around with a little more trust. He walks around feeling loved and connected. He walks around knowing that he can tell his parents anything and that he is safe.

This was the best opportunity this week to demonstrate Christ-like love, grace and mercy to my family.

father son

That’s The Power of Christ’s Love

And yes. My son felt sorry, but he doesn’t feel ashamed as he has been forgiven just as I have been forgiven by Christ. My son offered to help me purchase supplies from his allowance and to help me fix it. And he followed through with his commitment, with some encouragement and gentleness from me. He didn’t need his mother and I screaming and condemning him to make him feel this. He needed love, grace and mercy. We all need that. We worked through this as a family, because we know that Christ loves us and forgave us our sins before we yet knew Him (Romans 5:28).

Related Articles

Table of Contents
  1. What He Needed In That Moment.
    1. What now, Dad?
    2. That’s The Power of Christ’s Love
    3. Related Articles