11 Ways How A Father Loves His Children

Now more than ever, dads find themselves consumed with work, putting in overtime, paying bills, balancing the checkbook, and squeezing every last ounce of time from their busy schedule just to show up and be present for their families. It’s an unsustainable way to live a life, and sooner or later relationships will begin to fray or possibly snap. Don’t let this happen to you, dad. Prioritizing life is the first step to living a life well lived and in order. (Read More: How a Man Must Prioritize For A Balanced Life.) One of those top priorities is to love your children and lead them well. Keep reading to learn the 11 ways how a father loves his children.

1. Loving fathers… love Jesus

Love Jesus and follow Him in all you do. Apart from Him, you can do nothing. A man’s ways are futile, but the way of God the Father is forever enduring. He is faithful and loving for eternity, and when a father commits his life to Jesus, he is a new man whose life will yield the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control). 

2. Loving fathers… love their children’s mother

Love your wife unconditionally. You can’t do anything more for your kids than giving them unconditional love to them and their mother. If you’re divorced, show your kids’ mom respect, even if she doesn’t always return it. Don’t ever return shame with shame. Demonstrate love, grace, humility (see #1 above for help with this) and set the Christian example for your children to follow. Proverbs 22:6 states, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, dads. Love their mother unconditionally.

3. Love them unconditionally

You should always tell and demonstrate to your children that you love them no matter what (walk the talk). Permissiveness encourages bad behavior, so love them with gentleness yet firmness. Unconditional love teaches children that they’re loved for who they are, regardless of their actions.

4. Grow up

You, dad. Our children need us to be responsible adults. They need us to think things through, make tough decisions, and engage life responsibly. If you’re holding onto some adolescent ways as a so-called “man,” what you’re really doing is demonstrating a level of immaturity that your child will observe, and they too will think it’s tolerable to act immaturely as a man.  It’s time to grow up (see #1 above).  

5. Be there

“Quality Time” is all well and good; however, it has nothing on “Quantity Time.” Make the time. Everyone gets the same 24 hours available every day. Make yours count. Every moment that you’re present with your child provides a small glimpse or window into their world. What they pay attention to, how they’re growing, what brings them joy and sorrow, where they need to hear your words speaking truth into their life, or when they simply need a reassuring touch like a pat on the back or hug. Spend time with your children and be present. 

6. Provide

You can always provide a stable environment for yourself, your wife, and your children by providing a loving home, then being grateful for the material provisions that you do have. It’s not about making the biggest paycheck or having the most toys. The best things in live are free, and what you do with those free things (love and time) will change everything for your children. They will learn to see that the world is much bigger than the physical provisions that fathers provide.

7. Discipline

Children appreciate consistency, balance, accountability, and discipline when administered lovingly. These things are what teach out children responsibility to themselves and those around them. Without these qualities, children cannot develop into adults who are responsible for themselves, and are incapable of effective leadership with any degree of effectiveness. To lead others, they must lead themselves, and you, dad, must help them in this area in a gentle, loving, yet firm manner when required. 

8. Value education

Don’t let your kids do all the work! Get involved in their lives. Help them learn how to study. Show them how to take care of themselves and guide them when they need it. Let them know that they can count on you when they need to work through a difficult math or vocabulary homework project. Demonstrate the value of education by valuing education yourself. If your child sees you interested in visiting the library or learning more about a particular topic or subject, they will also find the world more engaging and develop their own intellectual curiosity.  Keep learning.

9. Raise them to leave

The simple goal of raising our children well equipped to live out their faith in God does not look any more difficult than this: To raise them up well-equipped so they can leave home and establish faithful lives. We only have approximately 216 months with our children from the day they’re born to the day they turn 18 and are ready to leave the nest. Each month of your time invested in your child is vitally important for helping them become ready and equipped to live a faithful and honorable life. Teach them the way they should go.

10. Teach them to take responsibility

Children who learn how to duck responsibilities and avoid costs will – sooner or later – fall flat on their faces! Loving parents help their kids understand: “Owning up” means admitting fault; “cleaning up” means taking corrective action; and “moving forward” means getting back on track after falling down. It’s okay to try and fail. Continue to encourage your child to keep moving and working through the challenges in life, because the rewards are so great when they learn how to complete the task to the end.

11. Teach them to love this life

When we recognize and reward our children for a job well done or great behavior, we’re reinforcing the positive aspects in their life that will help them recognize the value of a life well-lived. By focusing on their positives, we can encourage them to strive towards self-actualization rather than dwelling on their weaknesses. In order to do so, we must keep an open mind about their abilities and potential, and help them get out of the comparison game that can rob them of joy. Everyone is unique with their own gifts, strengths and weaknesses, and we need to help our children see this in themselves and to love their life. We should not limit them, but rather we should focus on what sets them apart and why we love them for who they are and who they can become. They will respond well when we encourage them to seek the goodness of life, and model what this looks like with our own behavior. 

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